Intelligence has been trickling in from trusted sources suggesting a major catastrophe – the apparent loss of the Haiku Trophy at a river crossing between China and Vietnam. An upstream dam burst as the stolen urn was being off-loaded by hooligans. We have, thanks to Sarah Porter Law, two shocking photos of the deluge. Curiously, Sarah Porter seems to be conveniently on hand when we are about to close in on our antagonists in some obscure hinterland. Hence we keep in mind the possibility of “fauxtography”. Nonetheless, we felt it justified to pass this information along. If reliable, we have but one hope – that the urn… was stoppered. You can discern our treasure floating off in the lower right corner of the second image. Our optimism is waning…. our contestants are despondent… the prolonged uncertainty is taking its toll…

Attempted transport of Haiku Urn across China-Vietnam Border

Tsunami Demolishes All – Urn Disappears Downstream

In such a setting it would be insincere to wish you a Happy New Year – indeed, all hopes hang on .. the bung…

Ms Mellifiscent Portobello, Undersecretary for the Chamber

Dateline Bhutan, Sunday 21 December

Worldwide cooperation in our efforts to trace those responsible for The Heist is beginning to bear fruit. Despite futile attempts to derail this investigation with false accusations (see Comments from Dubuque IA) we have credible new findings in this case. A serendipitous photo by a Tibetan Monk in a hot air balloon captured the drop of The Trophy into a mountainous region in central Bhutan near Thimphu. His quick response (by leaflet drop) alerted our partisans on the ground who in turn were able to photograph the pick-up in flagrante. A report to a local Rumpian Swat Unit was made but, unfortunately, the inhospitable terrain precluded pursuit.

Photos of these events follow.

Trophy jettisoned over Bhutan (Courtesy:Tibetan Monastic Balloon Corps)

Haiku Trophy Pick-Up Vehicle

Swat Team Closes In – Too Late!

The management wants to reassure Rumpians that tips provided by Comment in recent postings are being thoroughly followed-up. Especially interesting are suggestions by Ms Tatum that Clare Cromie needs scrutiny. This is in process as you read. Suggestions by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama to the effect that LC should “come clean” will be ignored and categorized with those made by Dubuqians. His Haiku however is sublime. Ms McClelland’s insights concerning the Chambers’ Progenitor are being carefully researched by our choreographic consultants. In summary, rapid progress is being made on a number of fronts. We have cause for optimism.

Respectfully Submitted by Ms M Portobello

Departing Address from The Chamberlain…

“Recent events, many unknown to the family at large, and only superficially touched on in the Comments following our last post, have, I am saddened to say, radically weakened The Chamber, crippling its many activities and threatening even its very survival. Vulgarities, fabrications, brash insubordination, and reckless ambition run unchecked. Newest amongst these outrages we have threats, threats that will not be printed here, but real enough to warrant Radical Measures. To wit:

• The Chamberlain cannot safely reside in The Chamber, but will move about Incognito until this Crisis is resolved.
• The Chamberlain has handed over management of the Chamber’s Daily Affairs to his Undersecretary, Mellifiscent Portobello, effective immediately.
• Ms Portobello will keep Rumpians informed of the State of the Chamber via OurRumpus until it is safe for The Chamberlain to return.
• Haiku Heist Investigators looking into the theft of the Haiku Trophy will relay their findings to The Chamberlain and Rumpians at large through Ms Portobello.

Fellow Rumpians, let us undo these injustices! Take heart, remembering that

… he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man’s company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call’d the feast of Chamberlain.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam’d,
And rouse him at the name of Chamberlain.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say ‘To-morrow is Saint Chamberlain.’
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say ‘These wounds I had on Chamberlain’s day.’
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words…..

I go now, but will return – you will be in my thoughts – until we rumpus again…”

The Chamberlain

Ms Portobello’s Update:
“What then do we know about this Iowan Cabal? We know that there has been a veritable RumperGate, a break and entry into the Chamber, and theft of The Trophy. In addition, false documents have been placed in such a way as to attract the attention and suspicion of Aunt Sarah, accounting for her unfounded accusations noted in recent Comments. Meanwhile this junta has kept the Trophy moving from place to place in its vain attempt to escape our investigators. To conclude, I now share a recent discovery that perhaps explains the capacity for heinous behavior that we have seen in our (distant) relations. I refer to the treasured Les Trois Mademoiselles (sic – Iowan spelling) portrait of our ancestors. On an anonymous tip, it was suggested that we look at the reverse side of this portrait. The findings were shocking – hover your mouse over the portrait to see for yourself what lurks behind…

Eureka, the heretofore unknown progenitor responsible for The Inherited Derangement, long known about (but hidden) by the family. More about him and the Trophy search to follow…”

Respectfully Submitted by Ms Portobello, for the Chamberlain…

Our readers will certainly remember the hotly contested (but still undecided) Haiku Competition . Irate Rumpians are clamoring for closure. To date we have been hesitant to disclose details, but as our investigation is finally beginning to bear fruit, we can be more forthcoming. The fact is that someone hacked their way into our site and made off with the Haiku Trophy. However, our security mavens are confident that we are within reach of the Trophy and the culprits. We have been told that it is now permissible to post a photo of the get-away vehicle. This was obtained by surveillance video in the Dubuque Iowa area.

Theft of Haiku Trophy Caught on Video

Needless to say, we have spared no cost in this inquiry. Our team of investigators, headed up by Fr. Brown, includes Hercule Poirot, Philo Vance, Charlie Chan, Nero Wolfe, and Sir Denis Nayland Smith (see below).

Haiku Heist Investigator Smith

Once restored, rest assured that the Haiku Trophy will promptly be awarded. Details concerning this carefully choreographed caper will be the subject of future posts.

Meanwhile, your patience is greatly appreciated.

Thanksgiving Addenda

The Thanksgiving Posting failed to acknowledge the contributions of two clan members. Aunt Alicia Withers generously supplied turkeys, and John McClelland created and supervised the bonfire activities. Our apologies and a belated ‘Thank You’ to you both!

The Chamberlain

Dr. Qun Sha has just been awarded his Executive M.B.A., presented during a graduation recognition ceremony Saturday, December 13th at Graham Chapel on the Washington University campus. Qun, a physician with specialty training in cardiology, has had extensive research experience in the laboratories at Washington University. He has been recently hired by St Jude Medical as a senior clinical engineer. St Jude Medical has relocated Qun to Rochester, NY “to deal with cardiac pacemakers and its ICDs business.” His wife Delphine and two children, Sarah Lin and Samuel, will be joining him there at the end of the year.

Dr Qun Sha, with Delphine, and daughter Sarah Lin

The clan offers its congratulations and best wishes to Qun in his new position.

The Chamberlain

In the never-ending effort to (re-)educate our youth, it is sad but necessary that we must remind them that today is the birthday of Frank Sinatra. For purposes of orientation, we suggest that they study this excellent overview of Sinatra’s long career. In the following YouTube clip (mandatory viewing for all rumpians below the age of 40) you can see and hear, all at once, three legends of American 20th century vocal artistry. These, of course, are Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, and Dean Martin. Watch and be amazed…

Addendum for our Youth: For your consolation, keep in mind that when you take over this endeavor, you’ll be able to post clips from Hip Hop stars like Salt-N-Pepa, Queen Latifah, Outkast, and Run-D.M.C.. Just remember: “Everything happens in its due time for those who can wait” (KUTUZOV Michael Illarionovich (1745-1813), commander, during the war of 1812 was the leader of the Russian army, which defeated Napoleon’s army)

A Chambers’ Chamber Kudo goes to firefighter Rob Judd.On December 2 Rob was awarded a medal of bravery by the Rock Hill Aldermen for the rescue by boat of Rock Hill resident Georgia Bazile. Her car had been swept away during the Sept 14th flooding in the Rock Hill area. Congratulations Rob. We are proud to be connected!

The Chamberlain

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